i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
