i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
