Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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