im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
