i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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