Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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