I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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