Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
