I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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