I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
