I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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