idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Sorry my hands just texted you
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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