Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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