id be glad to
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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