Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
