OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
