Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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