some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
