I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
