Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.

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  (312): kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it. http://tfl.nu/8mle
  Replies (71) Good night (801) Bad night (4862)
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving

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  (848): a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving http://tfl.nu/nqcq
  Replies (25) Good night (6985) Bad night (924)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..

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  (412): My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list.. http://tfl.nu/7bvi
  Replies (43) Good night (1073) Bad night (8532)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."

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  (250): He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that." http://tfl.nu/vmd9
  Replies (37) Good night (1514) Bad night (5576)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook

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  (614): I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook http://tfl.nu/grvu
  Replies (20) Good night (767) Bad night (4520)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman

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  (703): he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman http://tfl.nu/zmqz
  Replies (22) Good night (4390) Bad night (2415)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw

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  (717): looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw http://tfl.nu/7d00
  Replies (5) Good night (3679) Bad night (1032)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.

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  (727): josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry. http://tfl.nu/3vhb
  Replies (6) Good night (2922) Bad night (801)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.

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  (360): just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe. http://tfl.nu/xu32
  Replies (6) Good night (2446) Bad night (1063)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.

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  (317): The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today. http://tfl.nu/2j3f
  Replies (9) Good night (2574) Bad night (897)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!

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  (248): In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list! http://tfl.nu/ms7h
  Replies (20) Good night (1384) Bad night (611)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work

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  (614): do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work http://tfl.nu/2knt
  Replies (6) Good night (1318) Bad night (656)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.

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  (570): He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point. http://tfl.nu/gdgk
  Replies (7) Good night (351) Bad night (979)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.

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  (609): I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me. http://tfl.nu/juje
  Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (317)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."

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  (281): I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off." http://tfl.nu/27tg
  Replies (3) Good night (720) Bad night (464)

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