My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
