Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!

(1-313): View more from Michigan

I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????

(313): View more from Michigan

Honestly.

(313): View more from Michigan

Don't say a word.

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(313) So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays! (1-313) I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol????? (313) Honestly. (313) Don't say a word. http://tfl.nu/wjb7

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(201): View more from New Jersey

she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.

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(201): she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake. http://tfl.nu/meow

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(410): View more from Maryland

You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.

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(410): You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone. http://tfl.nu/z0lf

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(301): View more from Maryland

She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.

(301): View more from Maryland

but she's really nice

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(301): She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds. (301): but she's really nice http://tfl.nu/144l

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

we're no longer friends

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(603): i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube (1-603): we're no longer friends http://tfl.nu/kml0

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(636): View more from Missouri

It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.

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(636): It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy. http://tfl.nu/okgv

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(425): View more from Washington

You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.

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(425): You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option. http://tfl.nu/ipw1

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C

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(401): so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C http://tfl.nu/zt1d

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(817): View more from Texas

They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great

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(817): They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great http://tfl.nu/5yg0

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(352): View more from Florida

Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation

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(352): Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation http://tfl.nu/era3

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything

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(609): I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything http://tfl.nu/1m1m

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(706): View more from Georgia

Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.

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(706): Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check. http://tfl.nu/kz2a

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(619): View more from California

Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?

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(619): Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened? http://tfl.nu/i6wm

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(913): View more from Kansas

My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?

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(913): My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot? http://tfl.nu/qatl

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(404): View more from Georgia

Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent

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(404): Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent http://tfl.nu/17u7

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