Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.