Where did you get a picture of my penis
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"