is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
