Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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