Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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