Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
