She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
