You don't have asthma, your pregnant
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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