I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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