Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
