Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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