i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
