I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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