when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
