at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
