So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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