At least make sure they are 18
Why
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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