But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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