we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
