Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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