Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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