Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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