The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize