I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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