Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I got inside last night via doggy door
as a side note pls kill me
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
