Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
