I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize