Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
