Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
