Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
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Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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