i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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