you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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