so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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