How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I licked your asshole in confidence.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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