I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize