i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
