hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
