why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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