Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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