so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I am spending my child support on dildos
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
