At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
