Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
