the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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