i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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